Slang

A long-range goal absolutely leathered into the top corner. The kind that leaves keepers standing still and commentators screaming. Originated from British football culture and spread through podcasts and social media. A true thunderbastard combines distance, power, and accuracy.

Striking the ball with the end of your boot rather than your laces or instep. Coaches used to tell kids never to do it because it's inaccurate, but sometimes it's the only way to get a shot off quickly. When a defender is about to block or the ball is bouncing awkwardly, a toe poke can surprise the keeper because the shot comes out faster than expected.

A player whose style only really works in the Premier League. The term comes from "Barclays" (the old league sponsor) and is usually used to describe players who rely on physicality, work rate, or chaos over technical ability. Think midfielders who run a lot but can't pick a pass, or strikers who bully defenders but struggle with a first touch. When they move abroad or play in Europe, they get exposed.

Getting destroyed by an opponent, either individually or as a team. If a defender gets cooked, they've been beaten repeatedly. If a team gets cooked, they've been embarrassed. The opposite of the player who's "cooking" - someone has to be on the receiving end. Common in post-match social media analysis, especially with clips of players getting dribbled past.

Internet slang for a player or team that's supposedly washed up, past it, or declining. Gets thrown around constantly and almost never ages well - fans called Ronaldo "finished" after a bad game in 2008 and he played at the top for another 15 years. The term is both a genuine assessment and a way to wind people up. Messi and Ronaldo have both been declared finished about 500 times.