Suffix attached to criticize how a player scores or performs. "Penalty merchant," "tap-in merchant," "vibes merchant." The accusation is that they depend on one thing rather than having a complete game. It's dismissive and usually unfair because if you're consistently doing something well, that's a skill. But it's everywhere in online debates.
Marcus Rashford was called a "vibes merchant" when his performances became inconsistent - critics suggested he was better at social media content and personal branding than actual football, which was both cruel and reductive.
Robbie
Jan 24, 2026
When VAR rules a player offside by millimeters, usually because their armpit or sleeve is beyond the last defender. The technology can draw lines to this precision, but it feels absurd to disallow goals for body parts you can't even score with. Fans mock it, but it's technically correct under the rules. Led to calls to give attackers the benefit of the doubt.
The armpit offside ruling against Liverpool's Roberto Firmino in 2019 became notorious - the goal was disallowed because his armpit was supposedly beyond the defender, prompting widespread ridicule about what body parts actually matter.
Robbie
Jan 24, 2026
Statement that one player is definitively better than another. "Messi is clear of Ronaldo" or "Haaland clears Kane." Leaves no room for nuance - it's a complete dismissal of the comparison. Often followed by "and it's not even close." Used in debates where fans don't want to engage with actual arguments and just want to state their conclusion as fact.
"Vinícius Jr. is clear of Rashford and it's not even close" became a common Twitter take as their careers diverged - the term shuts down debate by asserting there's no comparison to be made.
Robbie
Jan 24, 2026
Creating numerical superiority on the flanks. The winger, full-back, and maybe a midfielder all move to one side, outnumbering the opposition's full-back. It creates crossing opportunities and drags the defense out of shape. The risk is leaving the other side empty if the overload doesn't produce anything. Teams balance wide overloads by having players ready to switch play quickly.
Liverpool create wide overloads by having Salah, Alexander-Arnold, and sometimes Henderson or a central midfielder all combine on the right. The opposition full-back can't handle three players, and space opens up.
Robbie
Jan 24, 2026
When the opposition doesn't score. The term comes from the days when stats were written on paper, and a match with no goals conceded left the sheet clean. Keepers and defenders track their clean sheet totals, and records like Chelsea's 24 in 2004-05 get remembered. It's one of the main ways to measure defensive performance.
Petr Čech kept 220 clean sheets in the Premier League, the most in competition history, with his peak coming during Chelsea's dominant mid-2000s when their defense was virtually impenetrable.
Robbie
Jan 23, 2026